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Got your eye/ear on Jawbone’s JAMBOX, the smallest, banging-est wireless speaker & speakerphone around? ShopSquad insiders can buy it for 50% off the original $180 here (for more details on how to get the discount, hop here)

Got your eye/ear on Jawbone’s JAMBOX, the smallest, banging-est wireless speaker & speakerphone around? ShopSquad insiders can buy it for 50% off the original $180 here (for more details on how to get the discount, hop here)

Will always cheer for products that look like memes. Cat Scratch DJ Meow Mix, by SUCK UK. 

Will always cheer for products that look like memes. Cat Scratch DJ Meow Mix, by SUCK UK. 

Whether you’re a hard-core audiophile or a fan of tying of tying together two tin cans on a string, you can’t deny that Monster Beats Solos are gorgeous, gorgeous titanium creatures. Wanna know if they live up to the hype? Check in with people who own them here. 

Whether you’re a hard-core audiophile or a fan of tying of tying together two tin cans on a string, you can’t deny that Monster Beats Solos are gorgeous, gorgeous titanium creatures. Wanna know if they live up to the hype? Check in with people who own them here

Usually there are boy shoes, and there are girl shoes, and never the twain shall meet. But we think that everyone can appreciate the brain-blurring freshness of these Comme des Garcons x Jack Purcell sneaks. 

Usually there are boy shoes, and there are girl shoes, and never the twain shall meet. But we think that everyone can appreciate the brain-blurring freshness of these Comme des Garcons x Jack Purcell sneaks. 

Popsicles in winter - why not? It’s counter-intuitively soothing, like taking a hot bath in the summer or bringing a bear to a bear fight. 

Popsicles in winter - why not? It’s counter-intuitively soothing, like taking a hot bath in the summer or bringing a bear to a bear fight. 

Gourmet soda: perf when you want to keep toasting your uhhmazing reboot all workday without getting toasted and falling into the train tracks on the commute home. 

Gourmet soda: perf when you want to keep toasting your uhhmazing reboot all workday without getting toasted and falling into the train tracks on the commute home. 

If you haven’t seen the dancing squid video that has recently gripped the digestive organs of diners everywhere, we’ll summarize: there’s squid, freshly prepared, in a bowl. The person behind the camera pours soy sauce on the animal, which proceeds to twitch and flap its tentacles about post-mortem, dancing like a translucent emissary of Satan.

We’ll leave the debate on whether this constitutes animal cruelty to other Internet provocateurs, since the ShopSquad team consists of 50% vegetarians and 90% tetchy buttholes who laugh at misery. Instead, we’ve rounded up the most gut-bustingly awesome squid-related accessories around, whether you prefer your swimmy seabeasts dead and deep-fried or releasing the Kraken at a beach near you.

ModCloth Squid Pro Quo earrings: deck out your earlobes in inky, adorable terror.

CafePress Travel Mug: Cocktails, Casablanca, and cephalopods? Consider us thoroughly romanced.

Busted Tees Free Hugs Shirt – Chilly rage or adorable misunderstanding? The squid’s black grimace yields no easy answers.

ThinkGeek Cuttlefish Babydoll Tee – Random fact: when we were little, we thought these creatures were named cuddlefish, conjuring images of furry, aquatic embraces. Picture our disappointment when we were confronted by the broad, bumpy, mollusc-y, distinctly uncuddle-able reality. We haven’t been this disappointed by misleading names since The Banger Sisters.

BONUS: Octopus Round!

ShanaLogic Octo Plushie Pink – your mouth says, “I protest the twee anthropomorphism of the Octopoda order,” but your heart says, “yessssssssss.”

As always, you can get ace shopping advice, underwater or landlubbing, at ShopSquad.

Rage inside the machine: 5 items to soothe (or encourage) you when you’re pissed off

We at ShopSquad cater to every living, purchasing being on the face of the earth, which puts us in a bit of a pickle when it comes to these product guides. However, at least one common experience unites us across lines of gender, age, nationality, and class: anger. Or, to be more specific, fleeting moments of of white-knuckled, red-faced, purple-spandex-shorts-stretching incandescent rage, whether you’ve discovered that your parents have cut you out of the will again, or that you forgot to TiVo the latest episode of Community.

In recognition of occasional fiascos and freakouts everywhere, here are some tried & true items to soothe the pure fury chunneling through your internal organs.

Personalizable bottle opener – While you’re drowning your sorrows like a burlap sack of kittens in the river, let this handy item be a reminder that life goes on. We recommend engraving something uplifting, like a quote from Tuesdays with Morrie, or Scarface.

The Gashlycrumb Tinies — This macabre Gorey classic depicting the alphabetical deaths of hapless Victorian children should take the edge off even the Heathcliff-iest mood.

Mr. Axe — Want something more tactile? This sheepish-looking plushie lets you playfully go Lizzie Borden on your loved ones, and you’ll be supporting independent designers while chopping through your rage issues.

Headphones — Several generations of lovelorn teenagers can’t be wrong; slap on a huge, heavy pair of headphones to let the world that you hate everyone forever/always. Ear-buds are a no-go in this case, as you want the largest headphones possible to broadcast your excess ire.

Duffel bag — Sometimes, even the illusion of escape is enough to calm one down. The cool grey-and-tan color scheme of this dashing Herschel Supply Co. bag from Karmaloop is casual enough for the gym, but elegant enough for a weekend extramarital jaunt. We recommend packing this baby with sneakers, a just-in-case shirt, a towel, and a waterproof notebook, so you can remember where you hid the body.



3 Minimalist, No-Bullshit Essentials for Work-to-After-Hours

While our personal style icon is Paz de la Huerta in anything ever, we can understand the need to look polished for evening events, and not like we’ve spent the last 72 hours marinating in whiskey and back sweat.

However, we at ShopSquad like minimizing the time we spend transitioning from the office to the bar, so here are three gender-neutral grooming essentials that every working stiff / aspiring debauchee should keep at his or her desk and/or laptop bag:

Deodorant — “Clean” and “smells nice” are pretty much the baseline for pleasing personal impressions, much like “not dead” and “can read” are commonly accepted standards for romantic relationships (then again, we’ve dated Bukowski fans before, so… yeah, not so much on the standards). Swipe on some industrial-strength deodorant in the morning and refresh at 5 p.m.; you’ll avoid the potential awkwardness of coworkers walking in on you giving yourself sponge baths in the company kitchenette.

Face wipes — Half physical, half psychological. Slough off the detritus of modern-day commuting and work-induced agony. Sure, your boss may have humiliated you in front of all of Accounting three hours ago, but that fetching bartender at Trivia Night doesn’t have to know. It’s like a new you!

Lotion – You know that tight feeling you get in your face right after you wash it? It’s a sign that your skin is thirsty and vulnerable, like Keira Knightley in A Dangerous Method. So before you step out the door, rub a drop of unscented lotion on your face to minimize dryness/flakiness. And if you worry about your forehead getting shiny, well, that’s what toilet seat covers are for.

3 Retro Costume Party Ideas That Don’t Involve Mad Men

While we’re thrilled that Banana Republic is launching a Mad Men-inspired line this August, we can’t help but suppress a dainty yawn at the thought of attending more costume parties inspired by the show.


So here are three fresh ideas for your next referential soiree:

DYSTOPIA

Although not as inherently appealing as martinis and philandering, this theme offers surprising flexibility: You could go the traditional 1984 route, with blue coveralls and a deliberately limited vocabulary, or try the Philip K. Dick cyberpunk aesthetic. Fans of The Handmaid’s Tale can don long-sleeved red dresses, winged hats, and pop out babies in the corner. Or if blissful hedonism is more your bag, do Brave New World, with color-coded wardrobe by caste (AP English Lit refresher: gray for Alphas, Mulberry for Betas, khaki for Deltas, green for Gammas, and black for Epsilons) and lots of drug-fueled sex. Hmm. We’re going to have to side with Huxley on this one.

REALTALK ART

This isn’t some half-assed affair in which you can show up as Van Gogh with a bandage clasped to the wrong ear — that’s akin to saying your favorite book is The Great Gatsby, or that your favorite band is Coldplay. Choose your favorite art movement and dress accordingly: Art Noveau for the waify dreamers, Futurism for the fascists, Surrealism for the delightfully insane. We once knew a man who wore a bowler hat to a party and held a green apple in front of his face the entire time: that’s dedication.

JEFF BRIDGES

Mr. Bridges has enjoyed a long, venerable career, and it’s about time you paid homage through drunken costuming. The Big Lebowski, Tron, and True Grit are gimmees for the novices, but hard-core enthusiasts could attempt The Fabulous Baker Boys or The Last Unicorn.

Bonus round: Nic Cage, although some may express concern that either of these themes may prove difficult for female party-goers. We say that any girl willing to dress up in a bear suit and punch Leelee Sobieski in the face is a woman of great wisdom and valor.

As always, you can get expert advice on purchases, pop cultural or otherwise, at ShopSquad.

Got your eye/ear on Jawbone’s JAMBOX, the smallest, banging-est wireless speaker & speakerphone around? ShopSquad insiders can buy it for 50% off the original $180 here (for more details on how to get the discount, hop here)

Got your eye/ear on Jawbone’s JAMBOX, the smallest, banging-est wireless speaker & speakerphone around? ShopSquad insiders can buy it for 50% off the original $180 here (for more details on how to get the discount, hop here)

Will always cheer for products that look like memes. Cat Scratch DJ Meow Mix, by SUCK UK. 

Will always cheer for products that look like memes. Cat Scratch DJ Meow Mix, by SUCK UK. 

Whether you’re a hard-core audiophile or a fan of tying of tying together two tin cans on a string, you can’t deny that Monster Beats Solos are gorgeous, gorgeous titanium creatures. Wanna know if they live up to the hype? Check in with people who own them here. 

Whether you’re a hard-core audiophile or a fan of tying of tying together two tin cans on a string, you can’t deny that Monster Beats Solos are gorgeous, gorgeous titanium creatures. Wanna know if they live up to the hype? Check in with people who own them here

Usually there are boy shoes, and there are girl shoes, and never the twain shall meet. But we think that everyone can appreciate the brain-blurring freshness of these Comme des Garcons x Jack Purcell sneaks. 

Usually there are boy shoes, and there are girl shoes, and never the twain shall meet. But we think that everyone can appreciate the brain-blurring freshness of these Comme des Garcons x Jack Purcell sneaks. 

Popsicles in winter - why not? It’s counter-intuitively soothing, like taking a hot bath in the summer or bringing a bear to a bear fight. 

Popsicles in winter - why not? It’s counter-intuitively soothing, like taking a hot bath in the summer or bringing a bear to a bear fight. 

Gourmet soda: perf when you want to keep toasting your uhhmazing reboot all workday without getting toasted and falling into the train tracks on the commute home. 

Gourmet soda: perf when you want to keep toasting your uhhmazing reboot all workday without getting toasted and falling into the train tracks on the commute home. 

If you haven’t seen the dancing squid video that has recently gripped the digestive organs of diners everywhere, we’ll summarize: there’s squid, freshly prepared, in a bowl. The person behind the camera pours soy sauce on the animal, which proceeds to twitch and flap its tentacles about post-mortem, dancing like a translucent emissary of Satan.

We’ll leave the debate on whether this constitutes animal cruelty to other Internet provocateurs, since the ShopSquad team consists of 50% vegetarians and 90% tetchy buttholes who laugh at misery. Instead, we’ve rounded up the most gut-bustingly awesome squid-related accessories around, whether you prefer your swimmy seabeasts dead and deep-fried or releasing the Kraken at a beach near you.

ModCloth Squid Pro Quo earrings: deck out your earlobes in inky, adorable terror.

CafePress Travel Mug: Cocktails, Casablanca, and cephalopods? Consider us thoroughly romanced.

Busted Tees Free Hugs Shirt – Chilly rage or adorable misunderstanding? The squid’s black grimace yields no easy answers.

ThinkGeek Cuttlefish Babydoll Tee – Random fact: when we were little, we thought these creatures were named cuddlefish, conjuring images of furry, aquatic embraces. Picture our disappointment when we were confronted by the broad, bumpy, mollusc-y, distinctly uncuddle-able reality. We haven’t been this disappointed by misleading names since The Banger Sisters.

BONUS: Octopus Round!

ShanaLogic Octo Plushie Pink – your mouth says, “I protest the twee anthropomorphism of the Octopoda order,” but your heart says, “yessssssssss.”

As always, you can get ace shopping advice, underwater or landlubbing, at ShopSquad.

Rage inside the machine: 5 items to soothe (or encourage) you when you’re pissed off

We at ShopSquad cater to every living, purchasing being on the face of the earth, which puts us in a bit of a pickle when it comes to these product guides. However, at least one common experience unites us across lines of gender, age, nationality, and class: anger. Or, to be more specific, fleeting moments of of white-knuckled, red-faced, purple-spandex-shorts-stretching incandescent rage, whether you’ve discovered that your parents have cut you out of the will again, or that you forgot to TiVo the latest episode of Community.

In recognition of occasional fiascos and freakouts everywhere, here are some tried & true items to soothe the pure fury chunneling through your internal organs.

Personalizable bottle opener – While you’re drowning your sorrows like a burlap sack of kittens in the river, let this handy item be a reminder that life goes on. We recommend engraving something uplifting, like a quote from Tuesdays with Morrie, or Scarface.

The Gashlycrumb Tinies — This macabre Gorey classic depicting the alphabetical deaths of hapless Victorian children should take the edge off even the Heathcliff-iest mood.

Mr. Axe — Want something more tactile? This sheepish-looking plushie lets you playfully go Lizzie Borden on your loved ones, and you’ll be supporting independent designers while chopping through your rage issues.

Headphones — Several generations of lovelorn teenagers can’t be wrong; slap on a huge, heavy pair of headphones to let the world that you hate everyone forever/always. Ear-buds are a no-go in this case, as you want the largest headphones possible to broadcast your excess ire.

Duffel bag — Sometimes, even the illusion of escape is enough to calm one down. The cool grey-and-tan color scheme of this dashing Herschel Supply Co. bag from Karmaloop is casual enough for the gym, but elegant enough for a weekend extramarital jaunt. We recommend packing this baby with sneakers, a just-in-case shirt, a towel, and a waterproof notebook, so you can remember where you hid the body.



3 Minimalist, No-Bullshit Essentials for Work-to-After-Hours

While our personal style icon is Paz de la Huerta in anything ever, we can understand the need to look polished for evening events, and not like we’ve spent the last 72 hours marinating in whiskey and back sweat.

However, we at ShopSquad like minimizing the time we spend transitioning from the office to the bar, so here are three gender-neutral grooming essentials that every working stiff / aspiring debauchee should keep at his or her desk and/or laptop bag:

Deodorant — “Clean” and “smells nice” are pretty much the baseline for pleasing personal impressions, much like “not dead” and “can read” are commonly accepted standards for romantic relationships (then again, we’ve dated Bukowski fans before, so… yeah, not so much on the standards). Swipe on some industrial-strength deodorant in the morning and refresh at 5 p.m.; you’ll avoid the potential awkwardness of coworkers walking in on you giving yourself sponge baths in the company kitchenette.

Face wipes — Half physical, half psychological. Slough off the detritus of modern-day commuting and work-induced agony. Sure, your boss may have humiliated you in front of all of Accounting three hours ago, but that fetching bartender at Trivia Night doesn’t have to know. It’s like a new you!

Lotion – You know that tight feeling you get in your face right after you wash it? It’s a sign that your skin is thirsty and vulnerable, like Keira Knightley in A Dangerous Method. So before you step out the door, rub a drop of unscented lotion on your face to minimize dryness/flakiness. And if you worry about your forehead getting shiny, well, that’s what toilet seat covers are for.

3 Retro Costume Party Ideas That Don’t Involve Mad Men

While we’re thrilled that Banana Republic is launching a Mad Men-inspired line this August, we can’t help but suppress a dainty yawn at the thought of attending more costume parties inspired by the show.


So here are three fresh ideas for your next referential soiree:

DYSTOPIA

Although not as inherently appealing as martinis and philandering, this theme offers surprising flexibility: You could go the traditional 1984 route, with blue coveralls and a deliberately limited vocabulary, or try the Philip K. Dick cyberpunk aesthetic. Fans of The Handmaid’s Tale can don long-sleeved red dresses, winged hats, and pop out babies in the corner. Or if blissful hedonism is more your bag, do Brave New World, with color-coded wardrobe by caste (AP English Lit refresher: gray for Alphas, Mulberry for Betas, khaki for Deltas, green for Gammas, and black for Epsilons) and lots of drug-fueled sex. Hmm. We’re going to have to side with Huxley on this one.

REALTALK ART

This isn’t some half-assed affair in which you can show up as Van Gogh with a bandage clasped to the wrong ear — that’s akin to saying your favorite book is The Great Gatsby, or that your favorite band is Coldplay. Choose your favorite art movement and dress accordingly: Art Noveau for the waify dreamers, Futurism for the fascists, Surrealism for the delightfully insane. We once knew a man who wore a bowler hat to a party and held a green apple in front of his face the entire time: that’s dedication.

JEFF BRIDGES

Mr. Bridges has enjoyed a long, venerable career, and it’s about time you paid homage through drunken costuming. The Big Lebowski, Tron, and True Grit are gimmees for the novices, but hard-core enthusiasts could attempt The Fabulous Baker Boys or The Last Unicorn.

Bonus round: Nic Cage, although some may express concern that either of these themes may prove difficult for female party-goers. We say that any girl willing to dress up in a bear suit and punch Leelee Sobieski in the face is a woman of great wisdom and valor.

As always, you can get expert advice on purchases, pop cultural or otherwise, at ShopSquad.

Rage inside the machine: 5 items to soothe (or encourage) you when you’re pissed off
3 Minimalist, No-Bullshit Essentials for Work-to-After-Hours
3 Retro Costume Party Ideas That Don’t Involve Mad Men

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Tell us the stuff you like and get discounts based on what you own. Inspiration, curation, & practicality, kneaded in awesomeness and deep-fried. get it